Something that's never left me.

I am moved by fancies that are curled/ Around these images, and cling:/ The notion of some infinitely gentle/ Infinitely suffering thing. - T. S. Eliot, 'Preludes' (I tried to illustrate this poem for a class once and they told me my art wasn't sorrowful enough. I suppose that is why I am also a writer. I make art when I'm at peace and I write when I am feeling deeply. Sometimes I'd like for it to all just mix together, but I think it comes naturally to me this way and so I will let it be. I'm grateful for all events and emotions that cause me to write or make art.) Anais Nin and a man named Rupert and a dog. I feel like I should know who Rupert was to her, but I am too in love with the idea of she and Henry. Someday I will investigate the Rupert.

thoughts and lovely pictures I found on google image.

Lately, my mind doesn't even know which way to look. I can't believe that in two months, I'll be done with college. It's a scary thing. At the same time, it's incredibly exciting. My world for the past 16 years has been school, and that is about to change. I've been very excited to create my own little world for a very long time, and it's so close now! I love what I do, and I'll always be doing it no matter what.
A week ago a boy told me, "Your walks seem almost sacred to you. And for those hours, I felt like I was let into your world." It's one of my favorite things anyone has ever said to me. He is a writer and he is good at saying lovely things.
Last Saturday, with the senior show having been the night before (and therefore feeling completely restless with no goal right in my face to be working towards), I was in desperate need of some kind of stimulation, preferably from something completely unknown to me. The AMC in Harvard Square didn't have Penelope, which I really wanted to see, so I checked what the Brattle Theater had. The film was named Last Year in Marienbad, a french film in subtitlees, and it sounded so strange and peculiar that I left my desk immediately to buy my ticket to the 9:30 show. The film started off slow, but sucked me in rather quickly and I never wanted it to end. It was disturbing and sterile. The people like walking manequins, the hotel like a living thing. It was painfully romantic. I won't give anything away because I think it is very much worth renting. It was just what I needed that night.
Anais Nin with lover whose name I forget at the moment. I've been reading a lot lately. Reading a new fiction called "Tolstoy Lied," which would be adored by any literature major on this planet. Rereading Henry and June. "The Last American Valentine: Illustrated Poems to Seduce and Destroy" edited by Derrick Brown, featuring work by Buddy Wakefield. Amber Tamblyn, Mindy Nettifee, and other beautiful poets. It's sooo good. Lately, I like to listen to: Kate Nash, Amy Winehouse, old Jewel, and many of my assorted playlists.
And that is all for now! I've started a new painting and hope to complete at least one more over this spring break. Mom and I saw Mrs. Pettigrew lives for a day (looooved it!! Such beautiful clothing and Amy Adams is so wonderful.) and soon we will see Penelope!!! Other than that it should be work, work, work (and probably procrastination!). I hope you're all having a nice end to your weekend!!! :) Amanda <3