my blackbird dress

I haven't gotten to wear this dress in a long time. I wonder when I will get to wear it again?

I bought it my senior year of high school for our senior reception. It is vintage, of course. It has boning and very delicate black lace layered over nude silk or satin. My favorite part was the sweetheart neckline with the bar of sheer lace across it. I like boldly colored dresses because they always make me feel like I am a bird of that color. So this is my blackbird dress.

The last time I wore it was my senior year of college. It was the day that our black cat Blacky was put to sleep, and I couldn't be home. We were going to a party at Shelby's apartment and due to the nature of Kristen and Shelby, I felt it would not be inappropriate to wear a dress like this one.

That night, I met another black cat, danced with a white cockatoo named Lily, and was told that I looked like a Renaissance painting as I sat on the floor eating a cookie by a man who sat on the couch above me.

I go through phases where I do or do not notice the beauty of how things lead me from one place to a tree to an animal to a starry sky to a nice store to a painting to another, as though I'm following a long piece of thread that is blue, my favorite color. I think I'm better at noticing when I am in the city, or when I'm writing a lot, or when there's someone to share it with in a letter or a conversation or nestled in the grass. Someday, maybe all three of these things at once.