loved him like a winter bird

This photo of a swan (given as an example on web sites to those looking to buy a Holga Diana) is so beautiful that I want to frame it. It makes me ache to get a little more creative with my Holga, or to just start using it again in general...if only film weren't so expensive. Light leaks are glorious.

I'm in desperate need of contact with unusual animals. I need to go to a farm, or a refuge. I need to hold a lamb, or touch a bull's face, or offer my wrist to an owl. The fact that we no longer have our O'Malley and Gizmo adds to this animal angst. Dogs fulfill me in a way that is somewhat similar to the feeling I get from wild animals (although those moments when you make eye contact or connect with some foreign animal provide a feeling so surreal and the sense that you've connected with something so much greater than yourself, or been allowed to touch the unknown for a moment).

When Court and I were little, we were playing in the "woods" (a smallish cluster of about thirty trees) in the backyard. It was winter, and everything had been transformed by snow into pure white. We felt something behind us. We both turned around at the same time, and staring at us was an enormous white bird with little black flecks on its chest. I'm still not quite sure what it was. It looked like a hawk. I'm not sure if their feathers turn white in winter for camouflage.

He was at eye level with us on a branch, and he just stared at us for a moment and we stared back, and then he spread his enormous wings and took off. It was so amazing.

Animals give me wonder. Their innocence never ceases to amaze me. I'm so grateful for them, and the humbleness they instill in me. I want to be surrounded by animals forever.